Taking down Christmas
by John Fischer
This is always a difficult part of the holiday ritual: taking everything down and packing Christmas away for another year. It seems like every year, the house never looked better, or the tree was never so perfect, and it all becomes so empty when it's gone. Like the guy on a "car-talk" radio program I heard recently who explained the hole in his dashboard left by someone who "borrowed his car stereo without asking" as "nothing but torn wires and sadness." I thought it was such an apt description that I jotted it down, and now I'm feeling a little like my house is all about torn wires and sadness.
There is a depression that sets in after major events in our lives. We struggle with getting back to normal. What can help us move on?
First, we can remember that we take the risen Christ of Christmas with us into the New Year. On Christmas, we focus so much on a baby in a manger that we sometimes forget the baby grew into a man who conquered death once and for all and now sits at the right hand of God the Father where He intercedes for us constantly. That means you and I have continuous representation at the highest level. All these decorations celebrated His birth, but walking into whatever our lives hold for us on January 6, 2009 is a celebration of resurrection and of power. We will never walk alone.
Second, I suggest you do like we do: leave something up -- some little reminder of the season. Maybe an ornament on a mantle, or the wreath on the door. In areas of New England and especially Pennsylvania, many homeowners leave a single light in their windows throughout the winter. I always wondered why they did that, and now I may have come up with at least my own reason.
The light Christ has brought into our lives has forever dispelled the darkness. Nothing will ever be the same. Maybe it would be good to leave a little light on around the house that wasn't there before, just to remember what remains from Christmas. The whole point of His birth into our torn world was to show the lengths He would go to in order to get to us. And now He is here. That is the point.
We might take down Christmas, but Christ remains in our lives, and no one can ever take Him away!
For God, who said, "Let there be light in the darkness," has made His light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:6)
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
A Worldview of Thankfulness
by John Fischer
The worst moment for an atheist comes when he is really thankful and has no one to thank.
-- (Author unknown)
Thanksgiving is not just one day a year, it is the theme song of the Christian. For a Christian not to be thankful is like a dog not wagging his tail at his owner's approach.
Thankful Christians walk around grateful for every breath, every sunset, every new morning, every color in the color spectrum, and every star in the sky. Like an alcoholic who is clean and sober, noticing beauty and taste for the first time, we are grateful just to be alive because we have been dead for so long.
It's hard to think of one vice that the virtue of thankfulness cannot render useless. One does not need to steal when one is thankful. A man does not covet his neighbor's wife when he is thankful for his own. No one craves more when he is grateful for what he has.
In the same way, a thankful heart cancels out pride and arrogance. No need to judge other people when you are thankful for who you are. No need to measure yourself by and compare yourself to others when you are thankful for what God has done in your life. No need to keep anyone out of the kingdom of God when you know you don't deserve to get in. (God can let in anyone He wants. I am simply glad to be counted among the saved.)
You don't care if you get the important seat at the table when you are overcome with gratitude at simply being invited to the dinner. You don't put heavy weights on other people's shoulders when you are thankful that God has lightened your own load. You are not obsessed with what other people think of you when you are overwhelmed with the fact that God is thinking about you all the time. You don't demand respect when you are thankful for your place. You don't have to hide your own sin when you are already thankful for God's forgiveness. You don't have to protect your image when you are already number one with God. You don't have to condemn other people's blindness when it's only the grace of God that has allowed you to see. You don't have to try for the highest place when you are already grateful for whatever place you were given. You don't have to make a show of spirituality when you are thankful for having received the Spirit. You don't have to clothe yourself in holy robes when you have been already clothed in righteousness. (Or as a friend of mine used to say, "Why be cute when you're already beautiful?") You don't have to be full of yourself when you are thankful that God has filled you up with Himself.
Not only do we have a lot to be thankful for, our thankfulness can accomplish much.
The worst moment for an atheist comes when he is really thankful and has no one to thank.
-- (Author unknown)
Thanksgiving is not just one day a year, it is the theme song of the Christian. For a Christian not to be thankful is like a dog not wagging his tail at his owner's approach.
Thankful Christians walk around grateful for every breath, every sunset, every new morning, every color in the color spectrum, and every star in the sky. Like an alcoholic who is clean and sober, noticing beauty and taste for the first time, we are grateful just to be alive because we have been dead for so long.
It's hard to think of one vice that the virtue of thankfulness cannot render useless. One does not need to steal when one is thankful. A man does not covet his neighbor's wife when he is thankful for his own. No one craves more when he is grateful for what he has.
In the same way, a thankful heart cancels out pride and arrogance. No need to judge other people when you are thankful for who you are. No need to measure yourself by and compare yourself to others when you are thankful for what God has done in your life. No need to keep anyone out of the kingdom of God when you know you don't deserve to get in. (God can let in anyone He wants. I am simply glad to be counted among the saved.)
You don't care if you get the important seat at the table when you are overcome with gratitude at simply being invited to the dinner. You don't put heavy weights on other people's shoulders when you are thankful that God has lightened your own load. You are not obsessed with what other people think of you when you are overwhelmed with the fact that God is thinking about you all the time. You don't demand respect when you are thankful for your place. You don't have to hide your own sin when you are already thankful for God's forgiveness. You don't have to protect your image when you are already number one with God. You don't have to condemn other people's blindness when it's only the grace of God that has allowed you to see. You don't have to try for the highest place when you are already grateful for whatever place you were given. You don't have to make a show of spirituality when you are thankful for having received the Spirit. You don't have to clothe yourself in holy robes when you have been already clothed in righteousness. (Or as a friend of mine used to say, "Why be cute when you're already beautiful?") You don't have to be full of yourself when you are thankful that God has filled you up with Himself.
Not only do we have a lot to be thankful for, our thankfulness can accomplish much.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
How to Start Over After Failure - Proverbs 28:13
How To Start Over After Failure
by Rick Warren
A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance. Proverbs 28:13 (LB)
*** *** *** ***
Here are four steps to take when starting over after a failure:
1. Accept responsibility for your own failure. If you’ve made a mistake, admit it.
Welcome to the human race! Don’t blame others. To blame others is to “be lame.” Losers love to blame bad luck, the economy, the boss, their spouse, or even God for failure. But winners never accuse others and never excuse themselves when they fail.
In 1974, after an 88-game winning streak, the UCLA basketball team lost to Notre Dame in a game where they’d led by 11 points. The next day’s headline read: “Coach Wooden says, ‘Blame me!’” Wooden was a winner.
“A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” (Proverbs 28:13 LB).
2. Recognize the benefits of failure.
Failure teaches you what doesn’t work. Thomas Edison, the great inventor, said, “Don’t call it a failure. Call it an education!” Failure forces you to be more creative as you look for new ways to accomplish something. It prevents arrogance and egotism. If everything you did was a stunning success, no one could live with you!
Failure also causes you to reevaluate what’s important in life. It’s one way God gets you to reflect on the direction of your life. “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways” (Proverbs 20:30 GNT).
3. Ask God for wisdom to understand what caused your failure. Why did you fail? Is there any reason you might have set yourself up to fail? There are many unconscious reasons we sometimes sabotage our own efforts:
• Fear of success – Success may mean handling more responsibility than you want to carry.
• Guilt – If you feel you don’t deserve to succeed, you may set yourself up to fail.
• Resentment – Some people fail as a way of getting even with those who are pressuring them to succeed.
• Ask God what caused it – “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all ...” (James 1:5 NIV).
4. Forget the past and focus on the future. Your past is past!
It’s water under the bridge. You can’t change it so you may as well stop worrying about it. “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on ...” (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV).
by Rick Warren
A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance. Proverbs 28:13 (LB)
*** *** *** ***
Here are four steps to take when starting over after a failure:
1. Accept responsibility for your own failure. If you’ve made a mistake, admit it.
Welcome to the human race! Don’t blame others. To blame others is to “be lame.” Losers love to blame bad luck, the economy, the boss, their spouse, or even God for failure. But winners never accuse others and never excuse themselves when they fail.
In 1974, after an 88-game winning streak, the UCLA basketball team lost to Notre Dame in a game where they’d led by 11 points. The next day’s headline read: “Coach Wooden says, ‘Blame me!’” Wooden was a winner.
“A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” (Proverbs 28:13 LB).
2. Recognize the benefits of failure.
Failure teaches you what doesn’t work. Thomas Edison, the great inventor, said, “Don’t call it a failure. Call it an education!” Failure forces you to be more creative as you look for new ways to accomplish something. It prevents arrogance and egotism. If everything you did was a stunning success, no one could live with you!
Failure also causes you to reevaluate what’s important in life. It’s one way God gets you to reflect on the direction of your life. “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways” (Proverbs 20:30 GNT).
3. Ask God for wisdom to understand what caused your failure. Why did you fail? Is there any reason you might have set yourself up to fail? There are many unconscious reasons we sometimes sabotage our own efforts:
• Fear of success – Success may mean handling more responsibility than you want to carry.
• Guilt – If you feel you don’t deserve to succeed, you may set yourself up to fail.
• Resentment – Some people fail as a way of getting even with those who are pressuring them to succeed.
• Ask God what caused it – “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all ...” (James 1:5 NIV).
4. Forget the past and focus on the future. Your past is past!
It’s water under the bridge. You can’t change it so you may as well stop worrying about it. “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on ...” (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV).
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Anger:Re-pattern Your Mind
by Rick Warren
"Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind" (Romans 12:2 TEV).
The way we act is determined by the way we feel. The way we feel is determined by the way we think. If we want to change the way we act, we've got to change the way we think. If we want to change a habitual pattern of improper anger management—pouting, blowing up, criticizing, etc.—then we need to have some mental reconditioning.
Gary Smalley suggests you begin asking yourself questions like, "Do I enjoy getting angry?" "Does it produce the intended results when I get angry?" "Could I get the same results in a more effective way?" "How would I be different?" Smalley suggests you write it down and read it aloud to yourself once a week for six months, that's 26 times.
Take the time to read it in the presence of another person. That may seem like a lot of work, but how serious are you about changing this habit in your life? How serious are you about getting control of your anger?I'd suggest using Bible verses in your letter, so that as God's Word fills your thoughts, you're transformed by the renewing of your mind. It's going to change you.
The truth is, angry people are insecure people. The more insecure I am, the more things tick me off. The more insecure I am, the more upset I get and the more irritable I am. But here's the thing: when you understand how much God loves you and you understand your security in Christ, when you understand how much you matter to God, then you are less likely to be irritable.
Homework: Read Ephesians 1 and Romans 8. They are anti-anger biblical passages because they teach us how deeply God loves us, and that we are secure in him.
"Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind" (Romans 12:2 TEV).
The way we act is determined by the way we feel. The way we feel is determined by the way we think. If we want to change the way we act, we've got to change the way we think. If we want to change a habitual pattern of improper anger management—pouting, blowing up, criticizing, etc.—then we need to have some mental reconditioning.
Gary Smalley suggests you begin asking yourself questions like, "Do I enjoy getting angry?" "Does it produce the intended results when I get angry?" "Could I get the same results in a more effective way?" "How would I be different?" Smalley suggests you write it down and read it aloud to yourself once a week for six months, that's 26 times.
Take the time to read it in the presence of another person. That may seem like a lot of work, but how serious are you about changing this habit in your life? How serious are you about getting control of your anger?I'd suggest using Bible verses in your letter, so that as God's Word fills your thoughts, you're transformed by the renewing of your mind. It's going to change you.
The truth is, angry people are insecure people. The more insecure I am, the more things tick me off. The more insecure I am, the more upset I get and the more irritable I am. But here's the thing: when you understand how much God loves you and you understand your security in Christ, when you understand how much you matter to God, then you are less likely to be irritable.
Homework: Read Ephesians 1 and Romans 8. They are anti-anger biblical passages because they teach us how deeply God loves us, and that we are secure in him.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Growing Younger - We Need Each Other
by John Fischer
Ah, but I was so much older
then I'm younger than that now - Bob Dylan
We often think of spiritual growth as getting spiritually bigger and stronger. That would make sense since it’s the meaning of the word. We even have a term we use for those who have walked with God a long time: we call them “spiritual giants.” Yet I’m not sure they, or God, would support the metaphor.
On a couple of occasions when the disciples of Jesus volunteered to shoo the children away, Jesus rebuked them and made a point of His preference for children, going as far as to say that the rest of us need to become like them if we have any desire of finding a heaven in our future.
I wonder what part of being like children he meant. Obviously he didn’t mean we were to be like children in everything, because children are naïve and foolish sometimes. Children are immature and God is pointing us all to maturity in Christ. But in some things spiritual, children have the upper hand.
The most obvious is their simple and total faith and trust in their parents, which becomes an example for us of how to trust our heavenly Father. Secondly, and not quite as obvious, is the wonder of a child. A small child is on a road of discovery and every new thing is full of delight. It does not take much to please young children because their imaginations are so active and their experiences are so new and fresh.
Something else I’ve observed afresh with our nine-year-old Chandler is the ease by which children make friends. We can be at a local park or at the beach and I watch him immediately jump in with whoever is there—no introductions necessary—as if they were long lost buddies.
And it's also always a contrast with parents around, how careful and suspicious we are of each other as we play out a little charade to determine whether or not we will introduce ourselves and bother getting into adult conversation while our children play. Our children have no problem with what can be a difficult barrier for us, and the contrast makes our isolation even more apparent.
Take it from the kids: we need each other. We are all longing for contact; we are just afraid.
Our mission in life revolves around relationships. Learn from the children. They are judgment-free, suspicion-free, un-self-conscious playmates, sharing in what they have in common, and jumping into the "now-ness" of being together. I don't know about you, but I could sure stand to be a lot more like that.
Ah, but I was so much older
then I'm younger than that now - Bob Dylan
We often think of spiritual growth as getting spiritually bigger and stronger. That would make sense since it’s the meaning of the word. We even have a term we use for those who have walked with God a long time: we call them “spiritual giants.” Yet I’m not sure they, or God, would support the metaphor.
On a couple of occasions when the disciples of Jesus volunteered to shoo the children away, Jesus rebuked them and made a point of His preference for children, going as far as to say that the rest of us need to become like them if we have any desire of finding a heaven in our future.
I wonder what part of being like children he meant. Obviously he didn’t mean we were to be like children in everything, because children are naïve and foolish sometimes. Children are immature and God is pointing us all to maturity in Christ. But in some things spiritual, children have the upper hand.
The most obvious is their simple and total faith and trust in their parents, which becomes an example for us of how to trust our heavenly Father. Secondly, and not quite as obvious, is the wonder of a child. A small child is on a road of discovery and every new thing is full of delight. It does not take much to please young children because their imaginations are so active and their experiences are so new and fresh.
Something else I’ve observed afresh with our nine-year-old Chandler is the ease by which children make friends. We can be at a local park or at the beach and I watch him immediately jump in with whoever is there—no introductions necessary—as if they were long lost buddies.
And it's also always a contrast with parents around, how careful and suspicious we are of each other as we play out a little charade to determine whether or not we will introduce ourselves and bother getting into adult conversation while our children play. Our children have no problem with what can be a difficult barrier for us, and the contrast makes our isolation even more apparent.
Take it from the kids: we need each other. We are all longing for contact; we are just afraid.
Our mission in life revolves around relationships. Learn from the children. They are judgment-free, suspicion-free, un-self-conscious playmates, sharing in what they have in common, and jumping into the "now-ness" of being together. I don't know about you, but I could sure stand to be a lot more like that.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A funny thing happened on the way to a poem
by John Fischer
A funny thing happened on the way to a poem: I unearthed a controversy I had no intention of addressing. But since it came up, let's see what we can do with this.
I'm referring to the subject of tattoos and body-piercing that came up when I used the metaphor of a tattoo to describe our names that have been engraved upon the palm of God's hand.
Some, who were accustomed to sharing the Catch with the whole family, were concerned their kids might see the metaphor as encouraging the practice of marking their bodies which as parents they disapprove of.
Still others were elated to find at least an inclusive reference to tattoos in a context they wouldn't expect. They were overjoyed with being able to take what had been for so many a source of division, and use it as a link for parents and kids—a bridge across a formerly insurmountable cultural divide.
This is what I wish to affirm today: an attitude of seizing every opportunity for reconciliation that we can find. There is so much that divides us without even trying. We need to put our efforts into what brings us together.
"…with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:2-3)
A funny thing happened on the way to a poem: I unearthed a controversy I had no intention of addressing. But since it came up, let's see what we can do with this.
I'm referring to the subject of tattoos and body-piercing that came up when I used the metaphor of a tattoo to describe our names that have been engraved upon the palm of God's hand.
Some, who were accustomed to sharing the Catch with the whole family, were concerned their kids might see the metaphor as encouraging the practice of marking their bodies which as parents they disapprove of.
Still others were elated to find at least an inclusive reference to tattoos in a context they wouldn't expect. They were overjoyed with being able to take what had been for so many a source of division, and use it as a link for parents and kids—a bridge across a formerly insurmountable cultural divide.
This is what I wish to affirm today: an attitude of seizing every opportunity for reconciliation that we can find. There is so much that divides us without even trying. We need to put our efforts into what brings us together.
"…with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:2-3)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The Secret to Handling Frustration
By: Rick Warren
“A man’s wisdom gives him patience…” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV).
It’s amazing how fifteen minor frustrations at the office can add up to one big, bad attitude by the time you head for home. Frustrations come in three varieties:
1. Interruptions: Unexpected visitors or phone calls when you have a deadline to meet or something important requires your attention. Our best plans are often interrupted.
2. Inconveniences: While interruptions are usually from people, inconveniences are usually situations involving things: the copy machine breaks down, traffic jams up, or you can’t find what you need when you need it.
3. Irritations: Long delays, unreliable people, playing telephone tag, catching a cold, obnoxious clients, etc.
But the truth is you can’t eliminate these. No doubt you’ll face all three varieties this week, but you can keep them from stressing you out.What’s the secret of managing your frustrations?
Don’t resist it, but don’t overreact or blow up. Don’t resent it; don’t internalize your anger. Don’t resign to it; don’t have a pity-party.Instead, reduce it. Treat it as insignificant. Put the frustration into proper perspective. It’s just a minor setback, a part of living, no big deal!
It’s certainly not worth a heart attack. Follow these rules for stress management:
• RULE #1: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
• RULE #2: Realize it’s all small stuff!
The Bible says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience…” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV). The only way we can see all stuff as small stuff is to view it from God’s perspective. When I am in tune with God, I remember he has everything under control even though I don’t! So I don’t have to sweat it:
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV). Pray this prayer: “Lord, help me to be filled with your love, joy, and peace, so that when I’m squeezed and pressured it is your love, joy, and peace that spill out of me.”
“A man’s wisdom gives him patience…” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV).
It’s amazing how fifteen minor frustrations at the office can add up to one big, bad attitude by the time you head for home. Frustrations come in three varieties:
1. Interruptions: Unexpected visitors or phone calls when you have a deadline to meet or something important requires your attention. Our best plans are often interrupted.
2. Inconveniences: While interruptions are usually from people, inconveniences are usually situations involving things: the copy machine breaks down, traffic jams up, or you can’t find what you need when you need it.
3. Irritations: Long delays, unreliable people, playing telephone tag, catching a cold, obnoxious clients, etc.
But the truth is you can’t eliminate these. No doubt you’ll face all three varieties this week, but you can keep them from stressing you out.What’s the secret of managing your frustrations?
Don’t resist it, but don’t overreact or blow up. Don’t resent it; don’t internalize your anger. Don’t resign to it; don’t have a pity-party.Instead, reduce it. Treat it as insignificant. Put the frustration into proper perspective. It’s just a minor setback, a part of living, no big deal!
It’s certainly not worth a heart attack. Follow these rules for stress management:
• RULE #1: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
• RULE #2: Realize it’s all small stuff!
The Bible says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience…” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV). The only way we can see all stuff as small stuff is to view it from God’s perspective. When I am in tune with God, I remember he has everything under control even though I don’t! So I don’t have to sweat it:
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV). Pray this prayer: “Lord, help me to be filled with your love, joy, and peace, so that when I’m squeezed and pressured it is your love, joy, and peace that spill out of me.”
Friday, May 22, 2009
God's Provision:Faithful Givng
by Rick Warren
"Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce" (Proverbs 3:9 NLT).
God promises to meet all your financial needs, if you (1) ask him for help; (2) learn to be content; and (3) practice giving in faith.There is a universal law called the principle of sowing and reaping.
If I sow criticism, I'm going to reap criticism. If I sow generosity, it's going to come back to me, and I'm going to reap generosity.Every farmer knows this. A farmer has four sacks of seed in his barn and he looks at his empty field. He doesn't complain, "There's no crop! I wish there was a crop!" He just goes out and starts planting seed. When you have a need, plant a seed.
It seems illogical that when I have a need, I should give. That's why it requires faith. God says, "My ways are not your ways."Why did God set it up that way? Because God is a giver. He is the most generous giver in the universe, and God wants you to learn to be like him. He wants to build character in you.The Bible says, "Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce" (Proverbs 3:9 NLT).
This is the principle of tithing. It's the principle that says every time I make one hundred dollars, the first ten dollars goes back to God.Tithing is an act of worship. We're giving to God. We're saying, "All of it came from you anyway." God says, "Put me first in your life and watch what I do." You may think you can't afford to tithe, but the reality is, you can't afford not to.Tomorrow we'll look at maintaining integrity, another condition for answered prayer.
"Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce" (Proverbs 3:9 NLT).
God promises to meet all your financial needs, if you (1) ask him for help; (2) learn to be content; and (3) practice giving in faith.There is a universal law called the principle of sowing and reaping.
If I sow criticism, I'm going to reap criticism. If I sow generosity, it's going to come back to me, and I'm going to reap generosity.Every farmer knows this. A farmer has four sacks of seed in his barn and he looks at his empty field. He doesn't complain, "There's no crop! I wish there was a crop!" He just goes out and starts planting seed. When you have a need, plant a seed.
It seems illogical that when I have a need, I should give. That's why it requires faith. God says, "My ways are not your ways."Why did God set it up that way? Because God is a giver. He is the most generous giver in the universe, and God wants you to learn to be like him. He wants to build character in you.The Bible says, "Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce" (Proverbs 3:9 NLT).
This is the principle of tithing. It's the principle that says every time I make one hundred dollars, the first ten dollars goes back to God.Tithing is an act of worship. We're giving to God. We're saying, "All of it came from you anyway." God says, "Put me first in your life and watch what I do." You may think you can't afford to tithe, but the reality is, you can't afford not to.Tomorrow we'll look at maintaining integrity, another condition for answered prayer.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Listen before you answer
By Rick Warren
"Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting" (Proverbs 18:13 TEV).
To really communicate, you must give up three things:
1. You must give up your assumptions. We get into trouble when we start assuming we understand the meaning of what people say to us. The truth is everything you hear goes through a filter. Your filter is determined by your past experiences and your unique personality. You may not be hearing what they are really saying. Therefore, it is smart (and safe) to ask for clarification: "Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting" (Proverbs 18:13 TEV).
2. You must give up your accusations. You never get your point across by being cross. Anger and sarcasm only make people defensive and that kills communication. There are four common forms of accusation:• Exaggerating, such as making sweeping generalities like "You never," or "You always."• Labeling, such as derogatory name-calling. Labeling never changes anyone. It only reinforces the negative behavior.• Playing historian, such as bringing up past failures, mistakes, and broken promises.• Asking loaded questions, ones that really can't be answered, such as, "Can't you do anything right?"The Bible says, "Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you" (Ephesians 4:29 TEV).
3. You must give up your apprehensions. Fear prevents honest communication. It causes us to conceal our true feelings and fail to confront the real issues. The two most common apprehensions are: the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. But when you face your fear and risk being honest, then real communication can happen. Freedom is the result of openness. Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32 TEV).
"Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting" (Proverbs 18:13 TEV).
To really communicate, you must give up three things:
1. You must give up your assumptions. We get into trouble when we start assuming we understand the meaning of what people say to us. The truth is everything you hear goes through a filter. Your filter is determined by your past experiences and your unique personality. You may not be hearing what they are really saying. Therefore, it is smart (and safe) to ask for clarification: "Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting" (Proverbs 18:13 TEV).
2. You must give up your accusations. You never get your point across by being cross. Anger and sarcasm only make people defensive and that kills communication. There are four common forms of accusation:• Exaggerating, such as making sweeping generalities like "You never," or "You always."• Labeling, such as derogatory name-calling. Labeling never changes anyone. It only reinforces the negative behavior.• Playing historian, such as bringing up past failures, mistakes, and broken promises.• Asking loaded questions, ones that really can't be answered, such as, "Can't you do anything right?"The Bible says, "Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you" (Ephesians 4:29 TEV).
3. You must give up your apprehensions. Fear prevents honest communication. It causes us to conceal our true feelings and fail to confront the real issues. The two most common apprehensions are: the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. But when you face your fear and risk being honest, then real communication can happen. Freedom is the result of openness. Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32 TEV).
Friday, May 8, 2009
Life Together:Don't Be Reluctant to Show Mercy
“When people sin, you should forgive and comfort them, so they won’t give up in despair” (2 Corinthians 2:7 CEV).
In real fellowship people experience mercy. Fellowship is a place of grace, where mistakes aren’t rubbed in but rubbed out. Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.We all need mercy, because we all stumble and fall and require help getting back on track. We need to offer mercy to each other and be willing to receive it from each other.
You can’t have fellowship without forgiveness because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship. Sometimes we hurt each other intentionally and sometimes unintentionally, but either way, it takes massive amounts of mercy and grace to create and maintain fellowship.
The Bible says, “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13 NLT).The mercy God shows to us is the motivation for us to show mercy to others.
Whenever you’re hurt by someone, you have a choice to make: Will I use my energy and emotions for retaliation or for resolution?You can’t do both.Many people are reluctant to show mercy because they don’t understand the difference between trust and forgiveness.
Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behavior.Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Trust requires a track record.
If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. They must prove they have changed over time. The best place to restore trust is within the supportive context of a small group that offers both encouragement and accountability.
In real fellowship people experience mercy. Fellowship is a place of grace, where mistakes aren’t rubbed in but rubbed out. Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.We all need mercy, because we all stumble and fall and require help getting back on track. We need to offer mercy to each other and be willing to receive it from each other.
You can’t have fellowship without forgiveness because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship. Sometimes we hurt each other intentionally and sometimes unintentionally, but either way, it takes massive amounts of mercy and grace to create and maintain fellowship.
The Bible says, “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13 NLT).The mercy God shows to us is the motivation for us to show mercy to others.
Whenever you’re hurt by someone, you have a choice to make: Will I use my energy and emotions for retaliation or for resolution?You can’t do both.Many people are reluctant to show mercy because they don’t understand the difference between trust and forgiveness.
Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behavior.Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Trust requires a track record.
If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. They must prove they have changed over time. The best place to restore trust is within the supportive context of a small group that offers both encouragement and accountability.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
God's Tatoos
by John Fischer
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. (Isaiah 49:16)
Not in the sky, because the sky is too high
Not in the clouds, because the clouds can't hold you
Not on a stone, for a stone is too cold
Not on silver or gold, lest anyone think you could be sold
Not in a book, because a book could be lost
But on the palms of His hands On the flesh
Where you can't be lost, sold or forgotten
On the flesh Where He sees you all the time
On the flesh Where the pain was measured out in love
On the flesh In the warm skin of the Savior
There you are… Permanent Indelible
Part of… Engraved Cut into Scarred
forever As God's tattoos
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. (Isaiah 49:16)
Not in the sky, because the sky is too high
Not in the clouds, because the clouds can't hold you
Not on a stone, for a stone is too cold
Not on silver or gold, lest anyone think you could be sold
Not in a book, because a book could be lost
But on the palms of His hands On the flesh
Where you can't be lost, sold or forgotten
On the flesh Where He sees you all the time
On the flesh Where the pain was measured out in love
On the flesh In the warm skin of the Savior
There you are… Permanent Indelible
Part of… Engraved Cut into Scarred
forever As God's tattoos
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Your Mind on Caffeine
by John Fischer
This is your mind... This is your mind on caffeine. Apparently they are two different things.
Researchers at the University of Queensland in Australia released a study showing that caffeine makes people more open to logical argument, even when it runs counter to their previously held opinions. The caffeine group, across the board, tested out as being consistently more open-minded than the decaf group. This would definitely lend new credibility to the belief that conversations over coffee are a good thing.
An open mind is necessary for any relationship to grow. You have to be open to another way of thinking to relate to someone, because we are all different – we have different backgrounds, different gifts, and we see things from different points of view. Lasting relationships grow out of accepting one another's differences. We appreciate each other more through consensus than through conformity.
This kind of open-mindedness in relationships is important for more reasons than just our differences. It is important because we are always changing, and since we are all in process, we have to remain open to that process in each other. My road will not be yours; yours will not be mine, even if we walk together. God has different plans for each of us. Jesus Christ did not die to create clones. He died so He could fill each one of our unique natures with Himself.
And finally, part of who we are becoming involves those closest to us. We are not who we are in a vacuum. We are a product of the people we know and how we have grown together. We shape each other. When this aspect is strong, there is a healthy push and pull at work. “As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT)
Belief has commonly been associated with a closed mind. This is unfortunate because nothing could be further from the truth. Belief opens you up to God and gives you his Spirit to help reinterpret the world around you. Belief is all about discovery, and just as our relationships with each other are not static, neither is our relationship with God. We are constantly discovering more about God and his world, and we are constantly discovering more about ourselves and those around us.
So pour another cup of brew for you and that friend. Open your hearts and minds to each other, and get ready for a surprise!
This is your mind... This is your mind on caffeine. Apparently they are two different things.
Researchers at the University of Queensland in Australia released a study showing that caffeine makes people more open to logical argument, even when it runs counter to their previously held opinions. The caffeine group, across the board, tested out as being consistently more open-minded than the decaf group. This would definitely lend new credibility to the belief that conversations over coffee are a good thing.
An open mind is necessary for any relationship to grow. You have to be open to another way of thinking to relate to someone, because we are all different – we have different backgrounds, different gifts, and we see things from different points of view. Lasting relationships grow out of accepting one another's differences. We appreciate each other more through consensus than through conformity.
This kind of open-mindedness in relationships is important for more reasons than just our differences. It is important because we are always changing, and since we are all in process, we have to remain open to that process in each other. My road will not be yours; yours will not be mine, even if we walk together. God has different plans for each of us. Jesus Christ did not die to create clones. He died so He could fill each one of our unique natures with Himself.
And finally, part of who we are becoming involves those closest to us. We are not who we are in a vacuum. We are a product of the people we know and how we have grown together. We shape each other. When this aspect is strong, there is a healthy push and pull at work. “As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT)
Belief has commonly been associated with a closed mind. This is unfortunate because nothing could be further from the truth. Belief opens you up to God and gives you his Spirit to help reinterpret the world around you. Belief is all about discovery, and just as our relationships with each other are not static, neither is our relationship with God. We are constantly discovering more about God and his world, and we are constantly discovering more about ourselves and those around us.
So pour another cup of brew for you and that friend. Open your hearts and minds to each other, and get ready for a surprise!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Poison ivy at the cross
By John Fischer
There is a cross at the camp I spoke at last weekend that sits atop a small rise affording a panoramic view of the surrounding countryside.
We had our final service there, a very meaningful communion service, while a strong Kansas wind blew through our small group of believers. The cross is made of roughhewn logs and sits in the middle of a circle roughly 40 feet in diameter. Except for a three-foot radius around the cross, the area is covered in concrete with stone seats on the perimeter. The small circle at the foot of the cross contains a few large stones – one served as a table for the elements – and what was once some vegetation, but has, out of neglect, turned into a heap of twisted vines and brambles.
Only a few leaves were left on these vines, and the prickly, tangled mass made me think of the crown the soldiers placed on Jesus the day He was crucified. As I stared at a few reddish leaves left on one of the vines, I noticed they were in a sinister grouping of three. I've learned to read that configuration as poison oak, but these were not oak leaves. When I asked someone there if this was poison oak, they told me, no, it was poison ivy. I was on the right track.
Poison ivy at the cross. Something about that seems like you would expect it – like evil lurking around its death site, still flaunting its power to trap and enflame. It has the audacity to spring up where it was conquered. Evil was beaten at the cross, it's just playing out its sentence on death row. Only time makes it seem still alive. Its days are numbered.
We need to remember this when we are tempted. For like this ivy around the cross, evil can still find its way to where we don't attend to life. If we neglect to care for and tend to our spiritual life, no telling what can take root.
Just remember this about sin: It feels good to scratch, but the itch never stops. Why go back to what the cross defeated? "
…and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…" (Matthew 6:13)
There is a cross at the camp I spoke at last weekend that sits atop a small rise affording a panoramic view of the surrounding countryside.
We had our final service there, a very meaningful communion service, while a strong Kansas wind blew through our small group of believers. The cross is made of roughhewn logs and sits in the middle of a circle roughly 40 feet in diameter. Except for a three-foot radius around the cross, the area is covered in concrete with stone seats on the perimeter. The small circle at the foot of the cross contains a few large stones – one served as a table for the elements – and what was once some vegetation, but has, out of neglect, turned into a heap of twisted vines and brambles.
Only a few leaves were left on these vines, and the prickly, tangled mass made me think of the crown the soldiers placed on Jesus the day He was crucified. As I stared at a few reddish leaves left on one of the vines, I noticed they were in a sinister grouping of three. I've learned to read that configuration as poison oak, but these were not oak leaves. When I asked someone there if this was poison oak, they told me, no, it was poison ivy. I was on the right track.
Poison ivy at the cross. Something about that seems like you would expect it – like evil lurking around its death site, still flaunting its power to trap and enflame. It has the audacity to spring up where it was conquered. Evil was beaten at the cross, it's just playing out its sentence on death row. Only time makes it seem still alive. Its days are numbered.
We need to remember this when we are tempted. For like this ivy around the cross, evil can still find its way to where we don't attend to life. If we neglect to care for and tend to our spiritual life, no telling what can take root.
Just remember this about sin: It feels good to scratch, but the itch never stops. Why go back to what the cross defeated? "
…and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…" (Matthew 6:13)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
But they will in a minute
by John Fischer
I recently heard the story of a young kindergartener who, when asked by her teacher what she was going to create for her art project proudly announced she was going to draw a picture of God. To which the teacher announced, "But no one knows what God looks like." "They will in a minute," came the bold reply.
She's right, you know. She's about to paint what God looks like to her, in her imagination, and she will be right. Not that God is relative to everyone's idea of Him, but that He is so multifaceted that no one picture can capture all of Him, nor can all of the pictures together make Him up. She is also right about the fact that we bring God to people, not only because are we are in His image, but because He dwells in us by faith.
What I love most assuredly about this statement is its audacity. "Oh, they'll know all right, because I am about to reveal Him to them." Would that we were all that confident about our ability to represent Christ to the world. This was a major part of Christ's role while on earth—to represent God to the world. "He who has seen me has seen the Father."
Our task is no less significant. If part of Jesus' purpose was to reveal God to us, part of ours is to reveal Jesus to others. "Christ in you, the hope of glory," Paul wrote. What a great thing to focus on as we prepare to do anything—go anywhere—see anybody… "No one knows what God looks like?" we can say to ourselves, "But they will in a minute…"
I recently heard the story of a young kindergartener who, when asked by her teacher what she was going to create for her art project proudly announced she was going to draw a picture of God. To which the teacher announced, "But no one knows what God looks like." "They will in a minute," came the bold reply.
She's right, you know. She's about to paint what God looks like to her, in her imagination, and she will be right. Not that God is relative to everyone's idea of Him, but that He is so multifaceted that no one picture can capture all of Him, nor can all of the pictures together make Him up. She is also right about the fact that we bring God to people, not only because are we are in His image, but because He dwells in us by faith.
What I love most assuredly about this statement is its audacity. "Oh, they'll know all right, because I am about to reveal Him to them." Would that we were all that confident about our ability to represent Christ to the world. This was a major part of Christ's role while on earth—to represent God to the world. "He who has seen me has seen the Father."
Our task is no less significant. If part of Jesus' purpose was to reveal God to us, part of ours is to reveal Jesus to others. "Christ in you, the hope of glory," Paul wrote. What a great thing to focus on as we prepare to do anything—go anywhere—see anybody… "No one knows what God looks like?" we can say to ourselves, "But they will in a minute…"
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Committing to Each Other
2008/07/31
by Jon Walker
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)
*** *** *** ***
Truth teaches that the quality of our friendships is more important than the quantity. We don’t need a lot of friends in this life, but we do need a few good ones.
By moving beyond superficial acquaintance with specific Jesus-ones, we become friends who are closer than family (Proverbs 18:24).
This requires considerably more commitment than our standard “to each his own” approach to getting along. Instead, we agree there will be “none of this going off and doing your own thing” (Colossians 3:15 MSG).
We see each other as individuals, unique creations of God and vessels of God’s grace. We “develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results” when we “do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor” (James 3:18 MSG).
Although this describes what a family should be, it’s a stone, cold fact that many people find closer relationships among friends than their blood relatives. But there is a different type of blood relative, sisters and brothers who are grafted together through the blood of Jesus Christ.
His power within us gives us the ability to become companions who stick together closer than a brother, or sister.
2008/07/31
by Jon Walker
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)
*** *** *** ***
Truth teaches that the quality of our friendships is more important than the quantity. We don’t need a lot of friends in this life, but we do need a few good ones.
By moving beyond superficial acquaintance with specific Jesus-ones, we become friends who are closer than family (Proverbs 18:24).
This requires considerably more commitment than our standard “to each his own” approach to getting along. Instead, we agree there will be “none of this going off and doing your own thing” (Colossians 3:15 MSG).
We see each other as individuals, unique creations of God and vessels of God’s grace. We “develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results” when we “do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor” (James 3:18 MSG).
Although this describes what a family should be, it’s a stone, cold fact that many people find closer relationships among friends than their blood relatives. But there is a different type of blood relative, sisters and brothers who are grafted together through the blood of Jesus Christ.
His power within us gives us the ability to become companions who stick together closer than a brother, or sister.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Jesus Taught the Most Important Command Is To Love
By: Tom Holladay - Saddleback Church
Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31 (NLT)
One of the most noticeable things about Jesus’ interactions with others is how people love to ask him questions. Crowds press in with questions; Jesus’ disciples call him aside for questions; and those who disagree with Jesus try to trap him with questions.
It’s easy to dislike this third group, and it often seems as though Jesus is wasting his time when talking with them. Doesn’t he know that their questions are just thinly veiled attempts to trick him into saying something they can use to accuse him? Yet he patiently listens to their questions, and he answers them one by one.
One day the questions are coming fast and furious. One group asks a question about paying taxes; another group launches into a series of questions about marriage. Jesus’ answers are brilliant and right to the heart, as always, but it seems that maybe it’s time to move on and talk to some who are more open to what he has to say.
Then a teacher from the edge of the crowd asks a question with a slightly different tone. There seems to be a genuineness to his question not heard from the others. He simply asks, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
In Jesus’ answer is the most important statement about relationships you’ll ever hear. As Jesus speaks, he leaves no doubt as to the value he places on relationships:
“The most important [commandment] … is this: … ‘Love the
Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and
with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is
this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ ” (based on Mark 12:28-34).
Jesus’ simple, clear answer to this question has the power to take our breath away. By choosing these two commands as the most important of all of the Old Testament commands, Jesus tells us how deeply he values relationships. He values our relationship with God, and he values our relationships with each other.
Your relationships with God and others will last all the way into eternity. Jesus knows full well that the swirling wonder and pain of our relationships tempt us to move them down our priority list.
“Who needs this?” we say, and so reduce our lives to simple hobbies, tasks, and entertainments. That’s not the answer!
When I try to make less important that which is truly most important, it only causes more confusion. A life without relationships may well be a simpler life, but it is also an empty life.
The path to the greatest life possible and the greatest joy possible is found in the priority that Jesus taught us to keep at the top of the list: Place the highest value on relationships.
Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31 (NLT)
One of the most noticeable things about Jesus’ interactions with others is how people love to ask him questions. Crowds press in with questions; Jesus’ disciples call him aside for questions; and those who disagree with Jesus try to trap him with questions.
It’s easy to dislike this third group, and it often seems as though Jesus is wasting his time when talking with them. Doesn’t he know that their questions are just thinly veiled attempts to trick him into saying something they can use to accuse him? Yet he patiently listens to their questions, and he answers them one by one.
One day the questions are coming fast and furious. One group asks a question about paying taxes; another group launches into a series of questions about marriage. Jesus’ answers are brilliant and right to the heart, as always, but it seems that maybe it’s time to move on and talk to some who are more open to what he has to say.
Then a teacher from the edge of the crowd asks a question with a slightly different tone. There seems to be a genuineness to his question not heard from the others. He simply asks, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
In Jesus’ answer is the most important statement about relationships you’ll ever hear. As Jesus speaks, he leaves no doubt as to the value he places on relationships:
“The most important [commandment] … is this: … ‘Love the
Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and
with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is
this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ ” (based on Mark 12:28-34).
Jesus’ simple, clear answer to this question has the power to take our breath away. By choosing these two commands as the most important of all of the Old Testament commands, Jesus tells us how deeply he values relationships. He values our relationship with God, and he values our relationships with each other.
Your relationships with God and others will last all the way into eternity. Jesus knows full well that the swirling wonder and pain of our relationships tempt us to move them down our priority list.
“Who needs this?” we say, and so reduce our lives to simple hobbies, tasks, and entertainments. That’s not the answer!
When I try to make less important that which is truly most important, it only causes more confusion. A life without relationships may well be a simpler life, but it is also an empty life.
The path to the greatest life possible and the greatest joy possible is found in the priority that Jesus taught us to keep at the top of the list: Place the highest value on relationships.
Friday, January 23, 2009
My Starbucks Nose
by John Fischer
After much deliberation and some concern, I have finally come to believe that I have a Starbucks nose. This has nothing to do with my nose's olfactory function; it's something I wear on the outside of my nose.
My wife and I have been noticing a pale black mark on the tip of my nose on and off for the last few weeks. The on and off part is what made it so difficult. Sometimes there are even two spots, and then other times there is nothing. At my age, you learn to not pass off anything that might indicate abnormal or unusual cell growth.
Then one morning, when I was drinking my coffee, my nose pressed against the snap-on lid of my Starbucks mug that keeps it hot, it hit me. It's either a coffee stain from the inside of the lid that folds back, or some of the black plastic wearing off with age. So that's it. I have a Starbucks nose—evidence that my nose is deeply embedded in the daily consumption of dark-roasted fresh-brewed coffee.
Which makes me wonder what we would expect to see on a follower of Christ that is evidence of being with Jesus? A spot of love? A smudge of kindness? A mark of patience? Certainly you would expect one who has been around Jesus for a long time to have a special compassion for the poor and disenfranchised. They might even have a sort of bent out of shape nose when it comes to privilege, power and position.
For sure you would see an absence of condemnation and an abundance of mercy. Forgiveness would be a strong mark. There would certainly be humility present in a form that was not conscious of itself. All of this would manifest itself in character strength wrapped in gentleness.
It's there; you can see it. Drink in a lot of Jesus. Look for the marks.
After much deliberation and some concern, I have finally come to believe that I have a Starbucks nose. This has nothing to do with my nose's olfactory function; it's something I wear on the outside of my nose.
My wife and I have been noticing a pale black mark on the tip of my nose on and off for the last few weeks. The on and off part is what made it so difficult. Sometimes there are even two spots, and then other times there is nothing. At my age, you learn to not pass off anything that might indicate abnormal or unusual cell growth.
Then one morning, when I was drinking my coffee, my nose pressed against the snap-on lid of my Starbucks mug that keeps it hot, it hit me. It's either a coffee stain from the inside of the lid that folds back, or some of the black plastic wearing off with age. So that's it. I have a Starbucks nose—evidence that my nose is deeply embedded in the daily consumption of dark-roasted fresh-brewed coffee.
Which makes me wonder what we would expect to see on a follower of Christ that is evidence of being with Jesus? A spot of love? A smudge of kindness? A mark of patience? Certainly you would expect one who has been around Jesus for a long time to have a special compassion for the poor and disenfranchised. They might even have a sort of bent out of shape nose when it comes to privilege, power and position.
For sure you would see an absence of condemnation and an abundance of mercy. Forgiveness would be a strong mark. There would certainly be humility present in a form that was not conscious of itself. All of this would manifest itself in character strength wrapped in gentleness.
It's there; you can see it. Drink in a lot of Jesus. Look for the marks.
Monday, January 5, 2009
A Scary Kind of Love
by Gordon MacDonald
While hiking in Switzerland this past month, I came to a town in which one of my favorite hotels is located. It's a very Swiss hotel, not overly expensive, with a wonderful view of the mountains. I stay there at least one night every time I go to Switzerland. And last month I intended to stay there again.
But the man at the desk turned me away. "You have no reservation," he said, "and the hotel is full for the night."
I tried to coax him to find a way to let me in: "I come here every year … you've always had a room for me before … I only have this one night … this is my favorite hotel." Most New England inn keepers would have caved in to my efforts at charm, but not the man at the desk of the Swiss hotel.
When I realized his mind was made up, I was really piqued. But not so that he would have noticed. Christians, after all, act nice. But inside I felt rejected and disappointed. I really wanted to say as I went out the door, "I never liked your stupid hotel anyway. I only stay here because it's cheap." But the truth is that I did like it. Strange, the conflicted attitudes that breed like bacteria in the human heart when one feels rejected.
Then in my Bible reading a day or two later, I came across that story in which the disciples of Jesus sought accommodations for themselves and the Lord in a Samaritan village. They, like me, were turned away. But on this occasion, the issue was more than just a no-vacancy problem. The disciples were Jews, and the Samaritans held them in contempt. We're talking real animosity here.
As I brooded on the Bible story I remembered first that the Samaritans violated the principle of Middle Eastern hospitality: one never turns away someone in search of shelter and replenishment. I should have reminded my Swiss "friend" about that.
But returning to the story, I saw that the more important thing had to do with the disciples' handling of the matter. Their attitude was far uglier than my feelings at the Swiss hotel.
"Lord," they asked when they returned to him, "do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?" How's that for going over the top? Thankfully, I did not say (or think) that when I was told there was no room for me at the Swiss hotel.
Fire from heaven? Three years with the Savior (give or take) and this is the best reaction the disciples can come up with? One might want to question the discipling ability of Jesus.
The feelings of the Twelve toward the Samaritans is just plain hateful. You want to ask them if they'd forgotten, among other things, that there were children in that village.
So what's in the human heart that generates such vindictiveness? What is it that causes us to feel justified to wish ill toward an adversary, to speak bitterly to (and about) those with whom we disagree, to support spokespersons who are capable of communicating in the meanest of ways?
The same day as I read the Bible story, I came across this comment from another source: devotion leads to hatred. Since I have tried to live a devoted life (to Jesus), I immediately rejected the comment. But when I remembered the story of the disciples and their attitude, I revisited the idea that devotion of a kind might indeed lead to hatred. And I became very uncomfortable.
I wanted to ask, "What kind of devotion are we talking about?" Can devotion actually go off the rails and become something else? Can we become blinded by devotion and end up being more like those we think of as the undevoted?
One day Jesus was asked about the great commandment. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with your soul and with all your mind," he answered. If he'd left it there, he would have enjoyed universal agreement from those who'd posed the question.
The fact is that these words, left alone, describe a popular, even naïve, kind of devotion which permits people to indulge in bias, arrogance, and even murder in the name of God … if they "love" him enough. The words themselves provide a terrible license to say, "I love God, and since you don't, you are nothing. And since you are nothing, I can speak of you, treat you, and scorn you in any way I choose."
But the Lord went on in his response to the question. "The second is like (the first) … meaning there are really two (not one!) great commandments, and they are like con-joined twins: they cannot be separated. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Everything, in the law and the prophets, he added, hangs on the connection of these two ideas, he said.
In that one paragraph, Jesus united all the teaching of Scripture, everything he came to do and say. Your love for God is evidenced and defined by your love for your neighbor. And we all know what Jesus meant by the word "neighbor."
For me this was a fresh burst of insight and renovation of spirit. Devotion to God without devotion to my neighbor can indeed lead to hatred because it is a devotion made up of words and self-centeredness. Devotion to God without the qualifying force of the second commandment does in fact lead to calling fire down from heaven. It permits a rather sophisticated, self-righteous perspective that leads to slander, scorn, gossip, hateful talk, and various behaviors that can lead to forms of violence. And I find the roots of all of these things deep within me.
All this thinking because a Swiss inn-keeper couldn't find me a room.
Oh, I found another hotel.
Gordon MacDonald is editor at large of Leadership and interim president of Denver Seminary
While hiking in Switzerland this past month, I came to a town in which one of my favorite hotels is located. It's a very Swiss hotel, not overly expensive, with a wonderful view of the mountains. I stay there at least one night every time I go to Switzerland. And last month I intended to stay there again.
But the man at the desk turned me away. "You have no reservation," he said, "and the hotel is full for the night."
I tried to coax him to find a way to let me in: "I come here every year … you've always had a room for me before … I only have this one night … this is my favorite hotel." Most New England inn keepers would have caved in to my efforts at charm, but not the man at the desk of the Swiss hotel.
When I realized his mind was made up, I was really piqued. But not so that he would have noticed. Christians, after all, act nice. But inside I felt rejected and disappointed. I really wanted to say as I went out the door, "I never liked your stupid hotel anyway. I only stay here because it's cheap." But the truth is that I did like it. Strange, the conflicted attitudes that breed like bacteria in the human heart when one feels rejected.
Then in my Bible reading a day or two later, I came across that story in which the disciples of Jesus sought accommodations for themselves and the Lord in a Samaritan village. They, like me, were turned away. But on this occasion, the issue was more than just a no-vacancy problem. The disciples were Jews, and the Samaritans held them in contempt. We're talking real animosity here.
As I brooded on the Bible story I remembered first that the Samaritans violated the principle of Middle Eastern hospitality: one never turns away someone in search of shelter and replenishment. I should have reminded my Swiss "friend" about that.
But returning to the story, I saw that the more important thing had to do with the disciples' handling of the matter. Their attitude was far uglier than my feelings at the Swiss hotel.
"Lord," they asked when they returned to him, "do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?" How's that for going over the top? Thankfully, I did not say (or think) that when I was told there was no room for me at the Swiss hotel.
Fire from heaven? Three years with the Savior (give or take) and this is the best reaction the disciples can come up with? One might want to question the discipling ability of Jesus.
The feelings of the Twelve toward the Samaritans is just plain hateful. You want to ask them if they'd forgotten, among other things, that there were children in that village.
So what's in the human heart that generates such vindictiveness? What is it that causes us to feel justified to wish ill toward an adversary, to speak bitterly to (and about) those with whom we disagree, to support spokespersons who are capable of communicating in the meanest of ways?
The same day as I read the Bible story, I came across this comment from another source: devotion leads to hatred. Since I have tried to live a devoted life (to Jesus), I immediately rejected the comment. But when I remembered the story of the disciples and their attitude, I revisited the idea that devotion of a kind might indeed lead to hatred. And I became very uncomfortable.
I wanted to ask, "What kind of devotion are we talking about?" Can devotion actually go off the rails and become something else? Can we become blinded by devotion and end up being more like those we think of as the undevoted?
One day Jesus was asked about the great commandment. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with your soul and with all your mind," he answered. If he'd left it there, he would have enjoyed universal agreement from those who'd posed the question.
The fact is that these words, left alone, describe a popular, even naïve, kind of devotion which permits people to indulge in bias, arrogance, and even murder in the name of God … if they "love" him enough. The words themselves provide a terrible license to say, "I love God, and since you don't, you are nothing. And since you are nothing, I can speak of you, treat you, and scorn you in any way I choose."
But the Lord went on in his response to the question. "The second is like (the first) … meaning there are really two (not one!) great commandments, and they are like con-joined twins: they cannot be separated. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Everything, in the law and the prophets, he added, hangs on the connection of these two ideas, he said.
In that one paragraph, Jesus united all the teaching of Scripture, everything he came to do and say. Your love for God is evidenced and defined by your love for your neighbor. And we all know what Jesus meant by the word "neighbor."
For me this was a fresh burst of insight and renovation of spirit. Devotion to God without devotion to my neighbor can indeed lead to hatred because it is a devotion made up of words and self-centeredness. Devotion to God without the qualifying force of the second commandment does in fact lead to calling fire down from heaven. It permits a rather sophisticated, self-righteous perspective that leads to slander, scorn, gossip, hateful talk, and various behaviors that can lead to forms of violence. And I find the roots of all of these things deep within me.
All this thinking because a Swiss inn-keeper couldn't find me a room.
Oh, I found another hotel.
Gordon MacDonald is editor at large of Leadership and interim president of Denver Seminary
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